Have you ever been in an argument with someone who was convinced that the opposite was true. You know, those arguments where, even if you were talking about the colour of the sky you couldn’t agree.
I was giving a talk recently when I was asked a question about this very topic.
“How do you stop going around and around in an argument when you know there is no way you are going to agree?”
“Simple” I said. “You just stop”.
They were immediately confused. Because history tells us that it isn’t simple. But it is!
Our instinct might be to keep going. To keep standing our ground and fighting the fight. But what’s the point in continuing the argument? When you focus on your position and not the outcome what are you achieving by continuing the argument?
WHAT IS THE ACTUAL POINT IN ARGUING?
Let’s be honest – the only thing that happens is that you end up in a position where you are both blaming, point scoring and bringing up old arguments to help you “win”.
There is no benefit:
- Point scoring;
- Blaming; or
- Finger pointing.
There is just no benefit whatsoever when it comes to your overall relationship.
So I say it again. Just stop. Walk away. Call a time out. Agree to disagree or just simply start to recognise when these issues are coming up and stop them before the argument even starts.
Yes this is easy to say. But we can make this choice.
Like it or not, we get to choose if we continue to argue or if we want to get off the merry go round and find something else to do. But this takes strength, it takes courage and it also takes self awareness. Self awareness is probably the easiest thing to learn when we want to – the question really is whether we want to see a change or not.
Like it or not, we get to choose if we continue to argue or if we want to get off the merry go round and find something else to do. But this takes strength, it takes courage and it also takes self awareness. Self awareness is probably the easiest thing to learn when we want to – the question really is whether we want to see a change or not.
If you are ready to change click the button below.
