Creating a strong and healthy relationship is easy. Maintaining a strong and healthy relationship is a different story.
Everywhere you look these days, someone is sprucing a quick fix for almost any aspect of life. Whether it be – dieting, money, mortgages, travel – it doesn’t really matter what it is there is a quick fix available.
But there are also some things in life in which there aren’t – no matter what others try to tell you.
The fact is though, you can’t automate relationships. You can’t automate quality time.
If you want to keep your relationships strong and healthy they simply require time and effort.
It reminds me of the story about the little boy and his father. It goes like this…
“Daddy, may I ask you a question?”
“Yeah sure, what is it?”
“Daddy, how much do you make an hour?”
“That’s none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?”
“I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?”
“If you must know, I make $100 an hour.”
“Oh! …Daddy, may I please borrow $50?”
The father was furious. “If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behaviour.”
Assumptions can ruin a strong and healthy relationship
Without saying another word, the little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.
The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy’s questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think:
Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $ 50 and he really didn’t ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy’s room and opened the door.
“Are you asleep, son?”
“No daddy, I’m awake.”
“I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier. It’s been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here’s the $50 you asked for.”
The little boy sat straight up, smiling.
“Oh, thank you daddy!”
Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.
“Why do you want more money if you already have some?”
“Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do.”
“Daddy, I have $100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.”
Spending time together is one of the easiest ways to create goodwill and to ensure your relationships stay strong and healthy – especially when it is unexpected.
Doing something without expecting anything in return – that is how you create goodwill.
What that something is, will depend on each of you. There is no right or wrong. It doesn’t have to cost money and it doesn’t need to go for days.
All you need to ask yourself is are you doing this to make the other person feel good?
What do you do to create goodwill?
If you want to discover ways to enhance your relationships click here.